Another one from me, please read and leave your comments I would love to know what others think?

Dark Carnation



at night I lay listening

to the rain and the world below

my heart's a dark carnation

sensuously brushing against your window



close your eyes, my love

listen to the whispering rain

my heart's a dark carnation

fervant reds sifting through your pane



oh, feel the earth spinning spinning

as I slowly weave into your dreams

my heart's a dark carnation

from which a bounteous passion streams



close your eyes, open your eyes

feel the whole of my love raining down on you

my heart's a dark carnation

sailing for miles, its centre of fire to you



quickly now before the dawn

close your eyes, my desire and my sweet

my heart's a dark carnation

a thousand flowers between your breast and feet

Another one from me, please read and leave your comments I would love to know what others think?
Poetry comes from deep within us some of it dark some light, yours is filled with sexual undertones when i read it i get a mental picture of a man and women, the man is expressing his deepest desires for this woman's body, and how strongly he feels to have her and worship her whole being.... it's quite beautiful but still needs a little work in some areas.
Reply:MARRY ME!!
Reply:Yawn
Reply:I love this poem and I think you're very talented.



Rhyme, scheme and meter are all there. A very nice piece of work. Thank you for sharing it.
Reply:ahhhhhhhhhhh x romantic x
Reply:Thanks for that, Ive had a hangover all day and was unable to vomit, after reading such shite I heaved no problem....
Reply:Very creative, and from the heart. I like it! ;)
Reply:I liked it very much
Reply:Very expressive ... romantic.
Reply:its not for me'''
Reply:A really good use of language and imagery.

Keep writing my friend.